


dollar store flowers

by scorpiusismypatronus



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: ADHD, Anxiety, F/F, Fluff, Galaxy Gals, Girls Kissing, Girls in Love, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Trans Female Character, fidget toys, homophobic parents, it's been a hard week, pining! alana, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 17:34:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13276476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpiusismypatronus/pseuds/scorpiusismypatronus
Summary: lesbians are gay





	dollar store flowers

_This is what it’s like to be selfless, I suppose_ , Alana found herself thinking as she watched Zoe smile at Evan like he was the only thing in the room. She was trying her hardest to appear uncaring and cold, but Alana could see in her eyes the love she felt for Evan.

Alana wouldn’t ever have a chance with this girl, not in a million years. 

Zoe was a rose and Alana was a fake flower you could buy at the dollar store. She was something you got rid of to get to the good things. She was not something anyone loved for who she was.

Alana watched them as they ate dinner, Jared making funny quips, Evan and Zoe curled up together, Cynthia and Larry both mourning but trying to remain positive. Zoe had a pen out and was drawing stars on her jeans again. Was she bored or just needed a distraction?

Alana picked at a stray thread of her jeans, and once she got that out, her fingernails, watching Zoe out of the corner of her eye.

She didn’t deserve Zoe. She knew that much.

The girl in question looked up, making eye contact with Alana, and in that moment she wished she’d been born without eyes just to avoid the awkwardness.

“Hey, mom,” said Zoe, letting her eyes linger on Alana for a few more seconds. “Can I go get something? With Alana?”

“Okay,” Cynthia smiled. “Come back soon, girls!”

“C’mon, Alana,” Zoe said, giving her a smile that was more of a mystery and grabbing her hand as they strode out of the room.

Zoe turned into her room only a few seconds after they were out of view.

“I actually did have something for you,” Zoe said, "but that’s not why I brought you back here.”

Alana nodded, mumbling, “thanks.” She wasn’t exactly sure how to respond.

“I was wondering — I noticed the decals on your backpack — are you queer? Or just a really strong ally?” Zoe asked quietly, and she was so obviously giving Alana an out with the last question, it made Alana want to kiss her and kiss her and kiss her.

“I’m trans and a lesbian,” Alana said, her voice at the same level as Zoe’s.

“I’m pan,” Zoe mumbled. “They’re super homophobic and I always feel… yeah. Not great about it.”

“I’m sorry,” Alana said.

“It’s okay. Not your fault,” said Zoe. “I asked mostly out of curiosity, but, I was wondering, I know there’s a pride parade this summer? Evan’s going, he’s bi, and Jared’s going, he’s gay, and I was just wondering if you were going, and if you were, I know it’s a lot to ask, but would you maybe take me?”

This girl was like sunshine and everything good. How could she possibly be so sweet?

“I will if my parents are okay with it,” said Alana. 

“Thank you so much,” Zoe murmured. “Connor — Connor was gay, I dunno if you knew that, my parents won't accept it and I've been trying to keep it on the DL — but I — part of why I want to go is to remember him. When he wasn’t breaking down my door screaming, one time, we made a plan to go to a parade but it never happened. I’m sorry, I’m rambling—“

“No, it’s okay,” said Alana.

“And I did have something for you.” Zoe reached into a drawer on her desk and pulled out a fidget cube, handing it to her. “I noticed you pick at your nails — I was thinking maybe this would help?”

“Thank you,” Alana mumbled. “I’ve been wanting one of these but my family can’t really spend money on anything else for me because — well. Thank you." Spilling her entire life story in Zoe Murphy’s bedroom was not on her to-do list.

“Of course,” said Zoe, fiddling with the hem of her dress. She took a step closer and Alana’s breath hitched.

Before she could even think about it, Zoe’s lips were on hers and it was all she’d ever dreamed and more.

When the two girls broke apart Alana gave her a shy smile. Zoe smiled back.

“My mom’s waiting for us,” Zoe said, breaking the mood, but it was necessary.

The only thing Alana thought about for the rest of the day was the feeling of Zoe’s lips on hers.


End file.
